How I Loved Loneliness or Moreover the Best James Bond Actor of All Time

Really tonight I want to sing 
Frank O’Hara what is it these 
Past weeks that makes me

Return again and again to your poems?

Frank O'Hara was no James Bond

For reals. He was no

Day winding down to night.

Yes 
He was.

O I get it. Frank O’Hara is it.

He’s my favorite James Bond actor!

You said God I fucking love

Roger Moore.  You said

That’s secretly why I bought

A Volvo 1800.  

You asked me to write a poem

In the voice of Roger Moore.

I said You might not like the voice

You hear however for Roger Moore

Is my second-to-last least favorite

Bond. (He runs like a knock-kneed

Pansy-ass.) What do you love

About Roger Moore? 

(I said your answer will inform 
This poem and your Volvo 1800

Will likely end up in this pome as well.)

HOW DARE YOU!

Moore's dashing somewhat effete Bond

Is by far my favorite. All those gadgets

And outfits and cool 70s shit!

You can't hold the sissy shit against him.

That was THE POINT of the Roger Moore Bond,

Muttsy! The Spy Who Loved Me 
Would wake me out of a coma. 

My great grandma was a Sean Connery lady

All the way (shudder). 

Oh, we used to get into it.

2nd to least favorite??? 

Barely above STEVEN SEAGAL?

You have got to be shitting me, man.

Karl Stromburg wanted to build a new Atlantis!!

That shit is right up my alley. I wanna cry

Just thinking about it.

The ski chase!!

Come on!!

The flag!

Whoa, whoa. Slow down, Ingpree.

Is it so awful that your great-grandmother

And I share the same favorite?

FUCKING JAWS!

SEAN CONNERY??? OH HELL NO.

I get it. You seem to be drawn by the glitz

The simulacra of the Moore-Bond (and yes

They all had that). But I have the eye of a grunt

Of a foot-soldier and I know what it takes to do

Some of that shit (not that I ever did any of it).

And, please, stop shouting.

I CAN'T YOU HAVE ME WORKED UP!

SCOTTISH BOND? SO WRONG.

(At least you resisted double

Exclamation points.)

!!!!!!

O you.  I'm a plebe at heart

A mutt a working class grunt.

Connery appeals to my low-brow youth.

It's a class thing I think.

WELL I don't want some brutish lug.

I want a Bond who looks like

He could wake up between me

And a hot Turkish pool-boy

And be unfazed.

To which we say O Frank O'Hara

Please tell us

Something we can understand.