Not Guilty, I Said

When I was 19 & drove my car into Lake Michigan, 

these are the things I gave away.

I gave nineteen palm kisses to all the girls who didn't love me.

I gave an Abhayamudra to my twin brother, Night,

sitting in the seat beside me.

I gave the Bellamy salute to American Legion Post Number 1964.

I gave the clenched right fist to my high school teachers;

they knew what I meant.

I gave the fist bump to intangible friends

who feared the handshake.

I gave the Moutza to all the people who wanted to do

away with collective bargaining.

I gave the ILY to all the girls who didn't love me.

I gave the Varadramudra to the crows who would pick my bones.

I gave the thumbs up & the thumbs down

& the telephone gesture to all the girls who didn't love me.

I gave them the sign of the horns.

When I was 19 & drove my car into Lake Michigan,

I was a saint

who didn't want to be found.